Minus the screeching tires of the van as it came to a swift halt nearly murdering a dude, the night was perfect.
When MDOT first constructed the northbound exit via Ottawa Ave. (77C) in the heart Grand Rapids, I personally found it to be a bit of a conundrum, to say the least. Why build that?
Now that I’ve personally driven that high road on many occasions, current opinion will state only the good things.
Monday night, the Hoops crew of 4 hopped in the van and left the Dirty Water headed to North Monroe for our meeting to decide November’s Beer of the Month. Bohemian Rhapsody, check. Northbound I-94 to Milwaukee (well, I-196 into GR), check. We were jamming, on the 1! The only thing missing was Phil’s sick face and the metallic blue paint of Wayne’s 1976 AMC Pacer. The Hoops van is Borgman Ford red.
And then,
“Holy F*CK!”
It happened right there and then.
In the blink of an eye, a pedestrian crossing against the signal, conveniently with cellphone in hand, darted out in front of the crew and the van as we exited the highway at speeds above 50 mph. With it’s prepared readiness provided by Butch’s Car Care, NickExel (the HoopsVan) did what it was supposed to do. It stopped. He was safe. We were safe. The walker was obviously just normal America. That would mean inattentive to the world or overattentive to the phone, if you’re counting. It was dark. NickExel was cascading to a green light. It all made perfect sense.Â
Thanks, Phil. Brakes are good. Tires are good. We love van.
Thanks, Stephanie. Reaction times are near perfect.
Within mere seconds of our near future-altering experience, our now wide-eyed foursome searched intently for an open meter to park. Even knowing it was after the 6pm paid parking deadline, finding a meter near our destination still feels like thievery. Oh, to be of the Hood. Rachel gets it. (So does Robin. It’s a pretty Thicke joke.)Â
Secured in the Motu 50200, the quest for our monthly grail continued afoot. 30 pieces of silver? No, 30 strides of march tuned to a different drum. Sadly, the song was over before it started but with only the most grandiose of consequences.
A swiftly opened door, the aroma of Queservesa, the cracking of the Klask puck against the sideboards. Oh, home. Born here, built here. Our life is this City.
We’re all City Built in a way. Hoops Boss is WestSide born, SouthEast-side grown. JW rocked the crown as a Polar Bear, now she’s Hoops Queen. CG camped out at PAC-man’s, goddess of Lincoln Park. The Lost from 7-7-11 live on and watch over us. Oak, Harry, Chunk and Lucy all said goodbye, but loved us muttly. Our HOF is littered with those long gone. Who Loves You Babe? #WLYB
Where were we? We were at City Built. Where am I going with this?
Focus. (Spelling it f-o-u-c-s autocorrects to douche on our cpu) Seriously, focus.
Ok, okay, O.K. Pill, please. Tangential love for America. Wait. What? (I need a day off.)
As we reset the pins for the 2nd game, we’ll move you over a couple lanes and have you throw those rocks on the “Bumpers Up!” side of the facility. We’re not saying you’re unable to comprehend our Beer of the Month on a ‘every night of the week’ bowling schedule, we’d just rather you come hang out on Glow Bowl night because that’s who WE are. There’s a whole lot of ‘my way or the highway’ going on out there, we’re on the “hey, it’s over here if you want some” train. Trumpets aren’t Bugles, they’ll hurt your teeth.
(Hoops Boss is pretty sure the staff at City Built found out about his bartender cheat sheet.)
From GC,
“seriously, it’s a way of connecting with them. I (don’t) forget names (but I don’t care to say hi toÂ
that girl our friend allegedly banged back in 1995, Steve). I like nicknames. They’re better. If you think I’m Corn because my last name is Cobb, frickin’ cool! If I’m a Defensive Back to you, call me DB (yes, that’s douchebag)! Thanks, Fonz! That actually happened. He dated Pinky. Ask Roundy. We got Stout his Dirty J Stout shirts, too. Weed, Boze, DDD, JW, Gordo, Crocket & Tubbs, Dennis, Ernie, Luck Unit, Spoelly, Zood-amah, G Unit, Ed Nealy, The Whit, Lil’ Chris, Chris Jesus, PaulE, ‘netter, FeetzMann, DonnySue, DannySue, Kissimmee, Sonny Bono (mikey nap), Mono Nick, Blueberry, Boo Gaa!, Sofia, Pork, Pudge, Spider, Rug, Arlo, Deerdra!, Swamp Donkey, Hollywood, Nick from New Girl, Benny 9-10, Coley, T, Grizzly Doug, Gage, JW, Bud Man, Peggy from the FLA, the Aunties, Grandma Ruth, Grandma Jo, Grandma (jo) Hall, my Father-In-Law Jake the Snake, Big Jimmy G, MC Brophy and that dude, Ronnie Mack. Who are you talking about?”
We got him back on track when we had Sarah with an H drop off his favorite beer of all-time, Melisandre, at the table.
Game 3:
Hey, I thought I was still in charge until December? MOVE!
Back in control of the night and the keyboard, I asked Nick from New Girl to add on a Cascading the Darkness knowing that we’d already settled on City Built as our BOTM brewer.
Without further ado (nearly 900 words into it), we’re proud to announce that Cascading The Darkness from City Built Brewing is our November 2018 Beer of the Month! Whether or not there has been a 2-time winner beforehand, I’m claiming 1st 2-time winner!Â
Now, I’m probably wrong because of New Holland’s Mad Hatter and my love for their beer. But, this dark conglomerate of Porter-like style
and IPA finish. Like a black-and-tan without the shitty domestic Mississippi River water from Bud. Is it perfect? Um, what is perfection except craft beer? That’s just a silly question. Can it score? People keep ordering it up. Can it defend? Lovers of it will swear up-and-down about its natural coloring and distinct influence on their food choices. Brussels Sprouts anyone? Intangibles? Porter-like IPA. Hoppy, smooth, dark. Pour it correctly and it’s a tall, dark and handsome fella that will make you take that walk of shame in the mor
ning, sans the sheep-following invoice (I mean college tuition) and the inevitable donation request from your alma mater on the day you pay off college, whether you’re dropping two or none upon presentation.
Find a ride home before you go, Uber ain’t picking you up once you’ve Cascaded through this flow. Gutters await if you’re walking.
6.6% ABV. Available in a 4 oz. skosh, 10 oz. DeVito, 16 oz. pint and crowlers to-go! But, unless you’re in a rush, there is no sense in missing out on this crowd of characters behind the bar, on the floor and, especially, in the kitchen.
Chef Lizzie is incredible! While she won’t talk to me anymore (I’m annoying and inquisitive), I’ll keep bugging the staff to let her know everything is superb. Eddie’s had our back since Day One.
City Built would go 12-for-12 every year in the Beer of the Month category if I keep having to write it.
Hell, I’m already a Mug Club member.
Cascade my friends, into the darkness.
Nothing. Is. Better.